Well, another work week is over and I look forward to an extra day off with a 3-day weekend.
I have been thinking about my last post and wonder if I have shared too much. It's a scary thing to talk about our failures out in the open and wonder if we'll be judged or criticized. But, I think I need to do it for me most of all. Whether anyone even reads it or not, documenting my feelings feels like the right thing to do. I think it's always good to express yourself, whether through the written word, art, music, etc.
Last time I wrote a lot about my weight issues and what I need to do to feel better about myself. I have been working on my diet, cutting out the sweets I so love to bake, and cutting my portions. I am doing it gradually, no crazy diets for me anymore. I'm sticking to chicken and fish only and lots of veggies and fruit. Carbs are a big one for me. I love bread, so I'm trying to limit my intake of bread, pasta, rice, etc. Mostly eating the whole grain varieties for the added health benefits. Last Sunday my daugther and I went for a nice walk in the freezing cold fog to my parents' house. Probably about 3 miles or so. It felt good to move again. Unfortunately during the week I did not find the time to exercise, but I will work to fit that back into my schedule. My daughter's soccer schedule right now keeps it hard to find the time. I did go for a nice walk with my good friend Wendy this morning, and it definitely lifted my spirits on a day I was feeling a little down in the dumps. My finances are quite limited right now, which puts me in a rather depressed mood.
After my seperation and subsequent divorce, I started working full-time for our local school district. The pay is not great, but I do get full medical benefits and a steady paycheck. My work year has me off 2 months out of the year, so part of the low salary comes from the time off w/out pay. Part of my intentions and hopes for the new year are to find a way to earn some additional income. I managed to keep my home after the divorce ( I bought him out) but it is a struggle to pay all the bills I have each month.
My dream is to own my own business someday. I'd like to have a small bakery and/or candy shop or cafe that serves lunch and desserts. I love to bake and cook and would love to work that into a career for myself someday. I also love to craft, so a career involving anything where I can be creative and work with my hands would be a dream come true. Although I enjoy my job now, and I love working with the kids and the staff at my school is great, working cooped up in an office is not something I want to do forever.
With the economy so bad and no start up money, my dream seems far away. I just can't give up hope though, that someday I will have the life I dream of. I have a feeling deep in my soul where I am right now is not the place I will be forever. I can't help but feel there is a new adventure out there just waiting for me to find.
My hope for all of you reading this is that you will find the place you are dreaming of too.
"Nothing happens unless first we dream."