Saturday, January 30, 2010

Small Steps...

"Our attitude toward life determines life's' attitude towards us."

~ Earl Nightingale

I start this post with the quote from above, so true, isn't it?  If we make the choice to be positive and treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves, I do believe it will come back to us.  On the other hand, if we have a negative, pessimistic attitude towards others, and life in general, that will come back to us as well.

This week, I have been working on focussing and actually making moves to make my dreams reality.  They have been small steps, but moving forward, nonetheless.  I made an appointment this week to meet at our local Women's Club to look at their kitchen and discuss rental fees.   Unfortunately, the gal I was to meet wasn't there, so we will try again next week.   I have no idea if the kitchen would even work for me, or what I plan to do, but I think one of the first steps is to find a place I could bake/cook out of that would allow me to sell my goodies.  This next week, I will look into getting a business license and what the requirements from the health department are for making and selling food as a business.  There is a lot of information out there for me to gather.
I am working on candy bars for a friend who owns a local business selling prom gowns and renting tuxedos. She has a great eye for style and runs a very successful business.  She has always been a strong support in my life, I've known her since Jr. high, and she remains an important person in my life today.  Every year she hosts a "Super Bowl Prom Dress Kick-Off" the day before the Super Bowl.  This year my candy bars and mini cupcakes will be part of the event.  I also designed her flyers and  water bottle wrappers to match the candy bars.

As you know, making ends meet is my number one worry these days.  My oldests daughter is away at college in San Diego, and she and I are paying for her college.  She has taken on most of the expense by way of student loans.  I am so proud of her, she is working hard to get the education I have dreamed of for her since she started kindergarten. 

Unfortunately, her dad is not part of her life right now.  In fact, he is not part of either of my daughters' life at the moment.  It is really sad, actually, and not how I want it to be.  I have been struggling with the fact that I cannot control what  happens, it is hard to sit by and watch my daughters' hurt and disappointment.  The best I can do is to offer my love and support.  I am trying, but I know I can't replace the love of their father.  Someday, I hope they will be in his life and he in theirs.  For now, I have to let them make their own choices.  It's hard.  When our children hurt, we hurt for them.

I wish no ill will towards my ex-husband.  In fact, I wish him peace.  I don't think he has it now.  I can't imagine what my life would be without my daughters in it.  He can't possibly be at peace without them.  What happened between us is in the past.  I wish him well, and hope he finds the help he needs for his emotional health.
We can't change what has happened to us in our past.  We also can't continue to blame people for our failures, even when they've done us wrong.  What we can do, is learn from our experiences and mistakes, and move on from there.  I am constantly learning I can only control what I do and how I think.  I must let things happen as they may.  I am not resonsible for anyone else's decisions or mistakes.  I repeat this to myself often, I am working on letting is a process.  Small steps...

Wishing you peace and Happy thoughts,


  1. Thank you for such encouraging words. I appreciate the fact that you are moving forward, by taking baby steps toward your goals. Eventually you will get there. It may not be tomorrow or even next week, but you will get there, if you keep stepping.

    I also understand your situation with your ex. I have a similarly situation. I am taking care of my 10 year old daughter alone. I have struggled to give to you her, so she will not have to do without. I am still fighting to get the child support that is rightfully hers. HIs argument is that our present state does not have jurisdiction because the case was open in a different state. I believe my duaghter's rights to child support are being trampled upon, and I am looking into this for.

    Moreover, you stay strong, and keep posting, as your post are my daily dose of motivation as well. We should learn to feed off of each other's energy. Have a great work week.:)

  2. Lisa-

    I just wanted you to know that I think you are awesome and such a joy to know. I admire you so much as a mom, a co-worker, and a friend. I am glad that we have gotten to know each other and wish we had the time to talk more!

    Have a great weekend and I know that you will make your goals a reality. - Tani


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