Saturday, October 30, 2010

Keeping the Faith

Faith is courage; it is creative while despair is always destructive. ~David S. Muzzey
This morning I spent a few hours at the park across the street, doing repairs on the community built playground that I got to be a part of 3 years ago.  It was one of the most amazing 5 days of my life.  I met some incredibly nice and giving people and got to be reminded of how a community can pull together and do amazing things.  The park across the street from my house was nothing more than a large campground for homeless transients, who used the park to drink and do drugs in.  This city park has been around for many years and has beautiful established trees throughout, but because it had been taken over by less than savory people, it never got used by the children it once attracted.

The crew of volunteers getting the playground done in an amazing 5 days!

The city finally listened and there was some available grant money to fix up the park itself, then some wonderful community members got together and formed a committee to build a fabulous new playground.  I could go on and on about the build and all the meetings and organizing that led up to it, but I will just tell you that the playground is now the best in the city.  Everyday, this park that hadn't entertained kids for years, is now full of them all day long.  I have never been so proud of something I have worked on.  I have a vested interest in this park, because it's so close to my house.  Even though my girls were grown by the time the park finally got cleaned up, my nieces can  play there when they come to visit me.  They love to play at "the park across the street", it even has a tire swing :)

Spending the morning sprucing things up, really helped to put my mind in a good place.  With all the stress I'm dealing with over the trial that is coming up this next week, I really needed some positive perspective.

One of the food tables, our  job (the food committee, all 2 of us!!) during the build was to feed all the volunteers.

I am trying to stay strong, but I worry everynight as I try to fall sleep, how will I pay my bills if my ex gets his way? How will we have enough money for groceries?  Will I have to work two jobs to keep us afloat, and how will that affect my daughter who will be home alone so much?  I have never felt so unsure and anxious before, and it's hard not to let it all get to me. 

Faith, Love,  and Courage, that is what I am focusing on.  The faith that things will turn out how I need them to, and the courage to figure it all out if it doesn't. And most importantly, the love I have from my daughters, who know exactly where my heart is.

Last week, my oldest daughter posted what she likes about me on my FB page.  You can't imagine how good I felt when I read her beautiful words:

i like you because you're an amazing mom who is a positive, strong, selfless and beautiful woman and perfect role model. you don't care about material things or money, you would rather devote your life to making sure your daughters have a good education & life & it's sad that some people choose not to see that. you know what's important in life and have taught me & lissy that we can do anything we set our mind to & to never give up on our dreams. :)"

My wish for you is that you will always have Faith, Love, and Courage in your heart, to see you through the good and bad times.

Happy Thoughts,


  1. After following your blog for several months I have seen what an amazing mom you are and how hardworking you are. I truly believe things will work out for you and you will be an even stronger woman than you already are after all this. Your girls are very lucky to have a mom like you, who's given them so much stability and love. Keep that chinny chin chin up and bloggy prayers sent your way:)

  2. I'm sorry things have been extra stressful, but I echo what Victoria wrote, and I'm sending hugs your way.

    And this post reminds me of The Care Bears' Garden, one of my favorite books as a kid. :) They help city residents transform an ignored corner into a beautiful community garden, and it's just a dear little book. :) Good for you and the other volunteers!


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