Thursday, July 30, 2009

Things I know, don’t know, and other random thoughts attacking my brain…Part 1

I think I need to clarify something right from the start, or rather, tell the truth. I DO care if anyone reads these words, In my first attempt at blogging, I made the statement that I did not care if anyone ever reads my blog (see below). I thought that was true, but let’s be honest, anyone who says that is not telling the truth. We all care what other people think, its human nature. Some care more than others, but ultimately we all care. If I can enlighten someone, or just the opposite, someone can enlighten me, after reading what I have to say, good or bad, I’m all for it and open to criticism and especially, encouragement.

Today so many thoughts clog my brain, I need to get some of them out of my head by means of written word. Always in search of peace of mind and happiness, many thoughts come to me. First, something I KNOW… I know I need to make more money. Now, I don’t need more money to buy more stuff, (although that’s fun too), I am going to need more money to pay my existing bills and provide adequately for my daughters. You see, the child support for my oldest daughter runs out soon, minus 2 months and counting. Not only will that leave a gaping hole in my moderate budget, but she also happens to start college at exactly the same time. I will be the sole provider of tuition, her personal needs, and other misc. expenses. Other than a little help form the state of California, she and I are responsible for the brunt of the her college tuition and related expenses. She’s more than willing to hock herself up to the eyeballs, she knows (I’ve taught her) the priceless value of a college education. She holds no resentment of me for not being able to hand over the full amount, and for this, I am grateful. My dream was to send her, fully paid for by her parents, to college, graduating without a massive amount of debt. This will not be the case, but at this point, as long as she graduates, I’m happy.
Now, back to the money making part…I love my current job, I work with great people, enjoy most of my required tasks (not all the tedious paperwork), but in general, the job suits me. I get to work with amazing teachers, (mostly) cute kids, and friendly parents. I love my boss too! If only this job could actually support a household of 3…due to budget cuts (I know, join the club) I make less now than I did almost 2 yeas ago, when I hit the top salary for this position. There is not doubt I will have to keep my job…there’s slim pickings out there for jobs at present time, and it provides the necessary medical benefits, a steady, although small, paycheck, and like I said, I actually like it. What I don’t know is how to supplement my income without completely losing my home life (very important to me) and still be able to spend time with my youngest daughter who will be home alone after my oldest is away at college. There are so many things I LOVE to do…crafting, cooking, baking, gardening, writing. Somehow, I have got to figure out a way to turn at least one of my passions into profit. I know, this is something everyone wants to do, but I have come to a point in my life, where it’s what I NEED to do, for the obvious financial reasons, and the the not so obvious fact that If I can’t create, I won’t be happy. That is something I KNOW. I am constantly inspired by the world around me, by other women who have achieved huge success doing what they love (think Oprah, Martha Stewart, Mary Engelbreit, Susan Branch, etc.) and by the growing number of talented (not so famous) women, who are at home sewing, cooking, baking, and creating beautiful things for others to enjoy. By means of Internet, I have discovered a whole world of these women. By reading their stories, I have hope that my dreams can become reality, not just the naïve imaginings of a consummate daydreamer.

Ahh, but getting from A to B, the transition from doing something out of love and desire to actually making a little money at the same time. Not to say, that is the proper motivation, money is never the best motivation, but let’s be real here…money makes life easier, it is a necessity, not for happiness per se, but for survival for sure. I am willing to work hard, I KNOW that good things don’t come easily, and hard work pays off, that still leaves me with the challenge of how to meet my ultimate goal of doing what I love and earning a living from it. It’s an age old question, but who has the answers?? Apparently, not me at the moment!

These are just a few of the random thoughts that swim around my head, but I’ve rambled on far too long, this is definitely a two parter!
Any thoughts, suggestions, or inspiration out there???? I would love to hear from you, whoever and wherever you are… Part II tomorrow (maybe)
Happy Thoughts,


  1. Dear Lisa,
    I feel for you...this has been a struggle for me over the years as well. I believe the key is to not become fearful or anxious, it clouds our vision so we can't see when the perfect opportunity comes. Just keep moving forward with your eyes open and you and your daughters will be okay.

    Love & prayers, Roberta

  2. Roberta,
    Thank you for your kind words, anxious and fear are definitely emotions I am dealing with right now...losing sleep some nights too, which is really not me. I will take your advice and try to be open. Have a wonderful day!


Thank you for stopping by my blog, Happy Thoughts to you!