~George Eliot
Today it is with melancholy in my heart that I write this post. You see, I have just arrived home after driving from Southern CA to my home in Northern CA. I had to leave behind my lovely 19-year old daughter, my beautiful sister, and my two adorable nieces, 4 of the 5 "girls in my life".
This was one of the most emotional drives home yet, and I've done this trip quite a few times now in the past couple years. For one, it was the first time I drove home by myself. Being alone, I gave myself permission to cry, to just let the tears flow for as long as I needed.
In the wee hours of early morning, I quietly slipped out of my sister's house, after having said my goodbyes to all the girls the night before. The drive is much more bearable leaving very early, avoiding the traffic that is common on this route. I like the serenity of driving in the dark too, seeing the sun come up along the way. There was the most magical full moon this early morning, and I felt like it was there just for me, offering me a guiding light on my journey home, as I felt the overwhelming grief of leaving part of my family that I love so much. It was bittersweet, as I also felt the anticipation of returning home to my youngest daughter, who was not able to come along this time due to a busy school and sports schedule.
There is a certain amount of stress in my life right now, and being away for a few days immersed in the job of caring for my nieces and sister (she recently had surgery), and helping to get my daughter settled in to her new apartment, gave me little time to even think about it. Until now, that I am home and it's time to face the reality of it all. I needed to be away, from work and from home for a few days.
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| These are my nieces, Sahara (top) and India (below). I forgot my camera on this trip, so had to find pictures from June when we visited last. |
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| My daughter's on-campus apartment. A little messy at the moment, but getting there. I made her a little colorful banner for over her bed. I have more ideas for decorating it...those apartments are do drab!! |
Even though at times my daughter drove me crazy being home for a long summer, with her "college-life" schedule and messiness, it was so hard to leave her once again. She's a good girl, and she gives me little to worry about, but a mother never stops worrying, does she? Being there for my sister and her girls, when I felt they really needed me, was so important. I wish I could have stayed longer. It's so hard living far away, I miss them all the time.
It's always good to be home, but a piece of my heart is definitely left with them. I will be counting down the days until I see them all again.
Happy Thoughts,
Lisa
I'm sorry. I know it's tough to have your heart spread out like that. I hope you've had a good week to make up for the bittersweet one.
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